From our friends at Hey Pumpkin:
But if there was one thing we wish everyone knew about compatibility, it’s this: it’s not all about sun signs.
Often when finding compatibility, we don’t take the other placements into account when we really should. Today, we are discussing how our personal planet placements, meaning our moon, Mercury, Venus, and Mars signs, can help us find a compatible partner. You can calculate your chart placements here. So if you have ever lamented that you and the one you love don’t have compatible sun signs, worry not! Maybe you are compatible in other ways.
Also, if your partner does not have any compatible signs with you, but your relationship is happy and healthy, then please stay where you are celebrated.
Moon – Emotional Connection
Our moon signs represent our emotions and our inner self. This placement tells us how we handle our own feelings and how we relate to the feelings of people around us. Our moon sign can explain why some of us are more reserved with our emotions and why some of us wear our hearts on our sleeves. It can also tell us how we deal with our hidden feelings and our emotional trauma. Taking the time to understand our moon sign is a great first step when undergoing shadow work.
But how do our moon placements affect our relationships? Well, this one is kind of a no-brainer. It’s no big secret that emotional connection is an important part of any relationship. You could probably make the argument that finding compatible moon signs is way more important than finding compatible sun signs. But that really depends on where the individual places the most value. Do you value someone who matches your energy or do you value someone who you connect with emotionally?
So what should we look for? Some astrologers, not all, say that sun signs are not compatible with themselves. Meaning that Aries are not compatible with other Aries and Pisces are not compatible with other Pisces. This is not universally believed because there are some people who want someone who matches their energy and vitality. However, it is a pretty good rule of thumb to find someone who has the same moon sign as you, because they will be able to understand your emotions better than other people. If the person you fancy does not share your moon sign, see if your lunar placements follow the common compatibility rules. Meaning they are matching or complementary elements or complementary modalities.
Mercury – How We Communicate
Mercury is named after the Greek god of eloquence, messages, and travel. So it is only fitting that our Mercury sign governs our communication, our decision-making skills, and how we take in and understand our surroundings.
But how do our Mercury placements affect our relationships? When relationships fail, it is usually due to the inability to communicate needs and desires in a productive way. If you look at most of the problems that couples face, they usually stem from a breakdown in communication. Finding someone with a compatible Mercury sign can help to ensure that the lines of communication will stay open. Notice I specifically said “help to ensure” not “ensure.” Astrology is a guide, not a guarantee.
So what should we look for? It’s not a terrible idea to find someone who shares the same Mercury sign as you because there won’t be that many misunderstandings. But you do run the risk of talking over each other. You also want to follow the standard rules of compatibility. Your Mercury signs could be compatible in other ways. If your Mercury placement is a more loquacious sign like Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Aries, Leo, or a Capricorn, you should find someone whose Mercury placement is a receptive sign like a Pisces, Aquarius, Libra, Scorpio, Taurus, or a Cancer.
Also, if communication is a problem in your relationship, couples counseling will help you more than astrology will.
Venus – Our Romantic Inclinations
Venus is named after the Greek goddess of love, beauty, and prosperity. So it is only fitting that our Venus sign governs our romantic inclinations, our financial prowess, and our artistic tastes.
But how do our Venus placements affect our relationships? Well, are you really surprised that the placement named for the goddess of love affects our romantic relationships? Compatible Venus signs can help to ensure that both parties always feel valued and appreciated. Our Venus signs are the placements that can help determine romantic tendencies. Some may call these tendencies “love languages.” These placements can also determine how good we are with money. And finances are always important to consider in a relationship. Also, I want to be clear. Venus placements relate to romantic compatibility, not sexual compatibility. We will talk about that in the next section.
So what should we look for? It is probably better to follow the standard rules of compatibility for this placement. However, I believe there is one very specific case in which you should bend the rules. If your partner has Taurus or Libra in their Venus sign, you pretty much hit the romantic jackpot.
Mars – Our Sexuality
Mars is named after the Greek god of war. So it is only fitting that our Mars sign governs our passion, our drive, and our aggression.
But how do our Mars placements affect our relationships? Sex is not the most important part of a relationship, but for some people, it is pretty important. If it is important to you, then finding out if you and your partner’s Mars placements are compatible can be beneficial.
So what should we look for? Like with the other placements I mentioned in this article, you should follow standard compatibility rules. You can still be compatible with someone who shares the same Mars sign because you will both be into the same things, but… how can I put this delicately? You run the risk of both being “tops” or “bottoms.” Which, hey, it could still work. However, if you find someone whose Mars is in Aries, Scorpio, Taurus, or Libra, let’s just say you won’t be disappointed.